


The Monet Project

by phanslovechild



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Also Sadness, Alternate Universe - College/University, Art Student Jean Kirstein, Art student!Jean, College Student Jean Kirstein, College Student Marco Bott, F/F, F/M, Jean needs a hug, M/M, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Photographer Marco Bott, Underage Drinking, and jean is an asshole, b/c i dont plan out my fics you guys, but I love him, dead moms oops, i will add to the tags as i write, jean and marco nice, jeanmarco, kind of funny though i guess, photographer!marco, so its as much of a surprise for me as it is for you, so much debauchery, starbucks fun times, welcome to trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanslovechild/pseuds/phanslovechild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jean Kirschtein, a 19 year old Art student at Trost College, loses his mother to illness he find that he doesn't miss her as much as he should. While most boy's his age would be reeling from the tragic loss, he finds himself moving on and continuing with his life much quicker than you would expect. </p>
<p>Although despite the disconnection from his feelings towards his mother, Jean wants to incorporate her memory into his art in hopes he'll be able to feel something for her again. </p>
<p>Opportunity strikes when his art history class assigns a partner presentation on famous painters, and Jean quickly snatches up the topic of Monet, to honor his mom as well as find a connection in his French roots. Much to his surprise, the cute freckled boy whom he often stared at from across the room asks to join him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my first A03 fanfiction, or as its better known, the bottom of the trash bin. Only a few things to say before we proceed onto the big ol' great Monet Project. 
> 
> Firstly, make sure you take a nice look at all the ships included in this fic! I ship all of these, so please be respectful. It would be greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Secondly, updates will not be consistent as of right now. I am a very smol 16 year old girl on the precipice of adulthood, I only have so much time to write gay stories for the internet.
> 
> Lastly, if you have any feedback I would love to hear it! Honestly I am not too keen on the description right now and sometimes I really do want a second opinion on what I have written, so please be sure to tell me what you think.
> 
> Enjoy! ^-^ 
> 
> -Madi

You never truly understand what it is you have until it's unceremoniously ripped away from you. 

It was obvious to Jean that he was go to to lose his mother not too long after her sudden hospital admittance. She'd gotten sick often when he lived at home, and it only got increasingly worse once he'd moved into his college dorm. No matter how many times she assured him she would be fine, Jean knew deep in his heart the truth behind his mother's sad half smile. 

It was lucky he had no father, no siblings, and not many relatives who would have to share the deep pain that her death would bring. Although it was in some ways a curse too knowing that nobody would truly understand how he was feeling. 

Not to say any friends he had who had lost their mothers (for example his classmate Eren, they weren't close but mutual friends brought deep conversation) didn't know the pain of it. Really losing the woman who loves you most in the world is a similar experience for everyone. It hurts. A whole fucking lot. But nobody would make that personal connection that Jean could when it comes to his own mom. 

He would miss having her there when he was crying. The way she wiped his tears and sang him a soft lullaby to calm him down. He would miss drawing in his old bedroom, and (on a good day they when didn't fight) hearing her praise about what a great artist he was becoming. He would miss the late night phone calls making sure he made it home from school safe and that he had a good dinner.

Most of all he'd probably miss her omelettes. It was a running joke amongst him and his friends as his mother would frequently have them delivered while Jean was at college during the day. They were good though and they held importance, it was something she's done ever since he was a little kid. It was something that reminded him of his childhood when things were okay and his mother wasn't dying. 

The truth was though that as sad as it may have made him that she was dying, he couldn't lie that they weren't the closest. Even if they only had each other, as Jean grew up they just drifted apart. Fights broke out more often, name calling began, and sometimes they would go days without speaking. Maybe it was the looming responsibility of college or the fact that Jean’s personality took a turn for the worst, making him very reserved and irritable. 

Whatever the cause it was obvious that even after his mother's passing Jean would be able to continue moving forward. Sure sometimes he'd probably cry, or seek solace in his best friend Ymir, but he would continue living. He would keep up with his art degree, maintain his social life and still hang out with friends, maybe even ask that cute guy in his art history class to the movies. Jean would still be the dumb snarky horse face he's always been, just a little bit sadder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> If you happened to read my update post (which has since been deleted) from a couple of weeks ago then you are aware I was in Dallas for a family emergency. My mother had to be rushed to the hospital for health and heart related issues. We left for Dallas the morning after she was transported and stayed there a week. Sadly, my mother did not make it and passed away on July 22nd. She is at peace now, and as about a month has passed I am holding up a whole lot better.
> 
> Now I want to clarify: NO, I am not looking for sympathy. Thank you for any condolences and kindness, but I really am okay and there is a reason why I wanted to share this with everyone before I go ahead and continue my story.
> 
> Obviously you're aware that in the story Jean's mother dies. This part of the fanfiction was written several months prior to the sudden tragedy that happened in my family, so I just want to make clear that I do not share any personal connection with Jean and his thoughts, they are his own and have nothing to do with my situation. I was very close to my mom while Jean really wasn't so out emotions, thoughts, feelings, and experiences will be very different. The way I am writing Jean is the way I want to write him and not based on me or the passing of my own mother in any way.
> 
> With Love,  
> Madi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I DID WARN YOU
> 
> I will try my best to have the next chapter our earlier than this one, since I am on my last week of sophomore year and summer is fast approaching.
> 
> Enjoy!

“I honestly don't understand your obsession, but maybe that's why I'm not majoring in art like you are.” Ymir yawned, stretching as she got comfortable on the couch in Jean and Connie’s dorm.

Technically it was after dark and she wasn't allowed to be in there but neither of them had really been the type to abide by those rules anyways. So there she was, in the boys dorm for one of her and Jean’s typical weekend sleepovers.

“You just aren't artistically inclined,” Jean retorted, plopping down beside his best friend on the couch. “I mean sure you can write like an evil genius but in no way could you paint a restoration of Grant Wood’s American Gothic. So I think you made the right choice going into literature.”

Ymir scoffed, grabbing some popcorn from the almost empty bowl on the coffee table and shoving it in her mouth, “Like you could do that either.”

Jean just shrugged and pressed play on the movie they'd had paused while he had taken a quick bathroom break. The two were currently watching V for Vendetta, a film about a vengeful vigilante named V whose dream is to blow up Parliament. It was a good film and quickly became one of his favorites.

Once the film had ended, Jean turned to see Ymir fast asleep on her end of the couch. With a small smile he got up and grabbed a blanket to drape over her, making sure she was sufficiently shielded from the cold before climbing into his own bed for the night.

The bedside clock read 2:37 a.m and Jean was wide awake, leaving him knowing all too well what the night had in store before sleep came to visit.

Invading thoughts flooded his brain, drowning him until he felt like he was suffocating. It had been about 6 months since his mother died and the guilt of how fine he was overwhelmed him. The reason he was sad wasn't because his mom was dead, it was because he didn't feel exceedingly depressed at that very fact. He didn't have anywhere to go for breaks, someone to call on Mother's Day, or a fresh omelette waiting for him on Sunday mornings. But that didn't bother him and as outlandish as it might have sounded… He sort of wanted it to.

Jean had never been one for deep sentiment nor did he care to show much affection, but you'd think it would be different when it came to the woman who brought him into this world. Surprisingly enough though that just wasn't the case.

The fighting started when he turned 14. It was over the fact that Jean had ignored his chores in favor of drawing pictures all day in the dark of his room, only illuminated by the dim lamplight at his desk. There was a screaming match and his mother ultimately won with a swift grounding and smack in the head with a rolled up newspaper.

From there it increased, became more heated. They'd get in fights over the most trivial things and not talk about it afterwards or come out with an apology, which probably had a lot to do with the unwanted tension wedged between them.

It seemed things could only go downhill until he finally moved out that things began to lighten up.

His mother called most of the time, and that was really only once a week. She sent him those omelets he loved so much every Sunday and made sure to know what was happening in her son's life. To him, this time apart was much more blissful than being at home. That's the thing about living with people, even if you’re family sometimes it just isn't meant to be.

_“Jean! Seriously, how many times do I have to yell for you before you decide to listen?!” Screamed his mother for what seemed like the 100th time. Jean continued to ignore her, putting all of his focus into attempting to finish a sketch he’d been working on the past few days. He’d told his mother that he wasn’t hungry so her attempts at pulling him out of his room proved futile._

_He knew from the get-go that his last Christmas break as a high school student was going to be a hellish 2 weeks. Recently his mother had grown accustomed to random fury fueled outbursts, and 99% of the time (Jean being the only one in the house to yell at) they were aimed at him._

_These outbursts ranged from an array of topics from who was going to clean the dishes all the way to Jean didn’t do his laundry in time. Small, trivial things that any normal person wouldn’t usually take so much offense to. This was because his mother wasn’t normal, she was sick. Something that he definitely did not want to have to think about while all of his school friends talked about how awesome their mom’s were._

_It was then Jean’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of his mother bursting through the door screaming at him yet again to get up and come eat the food she had so graciously cooked for the two of them._

_“You could at least come and try to eat something! I slave over that stove all day for you and you don’t even have the courtesy to appreciate it!”_

_“I do appreciate it mother! Why can’t you understand that?! I don’t do these things just to piss you off! In fact I hate fighting with you!”_

_She scoffs “Oh bah! You feed off of arguing just admit it, your attitude has turned sour!”_

_“No, I think it’s YOU that has turned sour, you’re SICK! Actually mentally ill, deteriorating, gone! Don’t think I don’t see it!”_

_Looking into his own mother's eyes, Jean felt like he could see something physically snap. Nobody had ever confronted her so bluntly about her illness before. Sure doctors had addressed it, but the way they talked to her with such apprehension told Jean more than he cared to know. Anyone that had interacted with his mother in the past year always acted like they were treading on thin ice when in her presence. As if by saying something wrong, she would lose it._

_Jean can now say he saw that side of her with his own eyes._

_She angrily stomped in, shredding the beautiful sketch laid in front of her son. Screaming obscenities she threw books, art supplies, random papers, even knocked the lamp over, nearly shattering the bulb._

_Once she was done tearing apart the room, she turned to look Jean in the eyes. Gold matched on gold, she raised her hand to him…_

Jean awoke in a cold sweat, looking around in panic. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep and waking up so suddenly made him feel all kinds of disoriented.

The dream of the one and only time his mother hit him was a recurring one. The sudden outburst had been a surprise and that’s probably why the memory stuck out like a sore thumb. That dream always shook him awake and left him in a pool of his own sweat, mind swimming around in confusion. Everything always seemed so real, but he did not cry. Never once had it made him cry, his emotions were far too detached to shed a single tear over any memories with his mom.

Looking at the clock the time was nearly 9 in the morning, so Jean decided breakfast was in order. Climbing out of the sticky sweat soaked sheets, he treaded over to the bathroom to have a quick shower before waking his best friend so they could go on a quest for food

~

Grabbing the warm McDonald's breakfast from the drive thru employee, Jean heard Ymir’s stomach grumble loudly. She always was a foodie and usually couldn’t get through the day without a McMuffin in her system.

As he began to drive away back onto the road, Ymir spoke up “So how did you sleep?”

Jean shrugged as he focused on the road, glad his best friend couldn’t see from his face that he was tired from a restless dream. If she had then she would see right through his facade and know that the dream had visited him again last night.

“Fine.”

“Tell me the truth.”

“What?”

Jean was genuinely confused. How she had known was a mystery to him.

Ymir sighed, cracking a half smile at her best friend’s ignorance, “Jean you aren’t hard to read you know. You’ve been so quiet this morning, usually McDonald's wakes you right up…” She was silent for a second, thinking about if she should breach the topic. “Did you have that dream about your mom again?”

He tensed slightly up at that and that is how Ymir knew, sighing and placing a hand gently on her friend’s shoulder in a means of comfort while still not disturbing his driving.

“It usually doesn’t bother you this much, was this time different?” Lightly squeezing Jean’s shoulder as he let out a long sigh before he began spilling his guts.

“I guess lately I have just been feeling… shit. Not about her death or anything, but about the fact that I don’t feel anything even 6 months later. It isn’t fair that I don’t get to miss my mom like any normal person would. I just physically can’t give a fuck and that annoys the living hell out of me…” He took in a shaky breath, trying to compose himself, “But I guess it’s only fair to admit that we weren’t close and that might be part of the reason why. We fought all the time, couldn’t be in the same room as each other for more than a couple of hours, the most affection we showed each other was through 5 minute phone calls and even that felt forced. I just wish my mother didn’t suck so much… So I could miss her. I hurts more that she was awful, than it does that she died.”

Pulling into the lot in front of student housing, Jean put the car and park and rested his head on the steering wheel. He couldn’t lie he felt a tad bit better getting all that off his chest, but nonetheless he was still exhausted and felt extremely shitty. Even Ymir couldn’t fix some of his worst moods. It just had to pass on it’s own.

Ymir enveloped him in a tight side hug, sighing sadly at his words. It was awful seeing her friend suffer like this, and she knew she couldn’t quite understand what it was like for him. She’d lost her parents when she was a little girl and it had shook her quite badly. Not missing your own mother was something unfathomable to her, but she knew she had to try for Jean.

“Listen… I don’t know what you’re going through on a personal level, but I am going to try and be here for you. I care about you Jean and we’re going to get you through this. Sometimes it takes a life changing event to make things become clear to you again. You’re only 19 and you still have so much to go through. Maybe this is just something you need to endure to shape you into who you’re supposed to be. You’re not quite fully you yet, yaknow? You have time to figure this out. I promise.”

Jean managed to turned his head slightly and give her a small smile, prompting Ymir to release her hold so they could climb out of the car. He knew eventually the worry would pass, and if his roommate was home Jean had high hopes that the company of both of his closest friends would be enough to distract him from the mess that was his thoughts currently.

It was safe to say he was essentially right, the two of them combined with endless hours of video games and snacks calmed him down a fair amount and he could say with certainty he felt sort of okay again. Not to say his brain wouldn't remind him of this mornings downfall within a couple of hours but the temporary bliss was more than enough for now.

He was grateful for Connie and Ymir, he truly was. He'd feel even more alone without them there.

“Man, already 1:00? Time does fly by when you’re having fun doesn’t it.” Connie spoke after the three of them had fallen silent trying to focus on whatever seemed to be playing on the one cable channel they had.

As Jean’s two friends had other obligations (those other obligations being their girlfriends) they left the dorm with a quick goodbye and ‘see you later’ before heading out, leaving Jean to his own devices. Not wanting to be let alone with himself for longer than he had to that day he decided to go out and grab a coffee or something.

He quickly slipped on his shoes and hoodie before stepping out into the early spring chill and beginning his trek towards the nearest Starbucks.

~

Jean slipped inside the warm building that smelled strongly of coffee and pastries, and found the familiar public setting brought him some comfort. It wasn’t super busy at this time of day but also not totally empty either, which found itself to be the perfect medium.

Ordering and not long after receiving his coffee, Jean took a window seat towards the front of the shop so he could watch the passers by as he nursed his drink. It was nice to watch total strangers walk by as he’d probably never see them again, but in that fleeting moment he could ponder what their own lives were like.

It was a crazy concept to think that each person that walked down the small strip past the one Starbucks in Trost had a life. They had their own families, memories, friends, people who knew them and loved them, things that they have accomplished in their impossibly short lifetime, their own dreams, thoughts, and ideas. In the few seconds that Jean happened to notice them, they managed to cross his mind and be a part of his day even if he wouldn’t recall them later. It made him think how many people’s days he had unconsciously been a part of.

A tap on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts, making Jean practically jump out of his skin as he turned to see who it was that had disturbed him.

Goosebumps rose across the surface of his skin as he looked up at a familiar freckled face holding a camera close to his chest. Marco Bodt, the cute boy from his art history class. The guy he constantly stared at, dreamt about, drew sketches of, just because he was a pretty face that could take some bomb ass photos. Thinking about it, he’d never even spoken a word to the poor guy and here he was subconsciously planning their wedding. Fuck.  
“Ah- Hi… Sorry to bother you, my name is Marco. I think we have Mr.Ackerman’s art history class together, and I saw you sitting here,” A blush was steadily making its way onto the boy’s face. “Anyways, I thought it’d be too good of a photo op to pass up so I took some… Now I feel bad for taking your picture without your permission though and thought I would ask… Oh god this is embarrassing I am so sorry.”

Jean didn’t say anything right away, still slightly shocked that his classmate even approached him to begin with regardless the circumstance. A boy he’d never spoken too even if he’d stared countless times, missing parts of lessons. A boy he never thought he would have the courage to speak to.

Guess fate worked in really weird ways nowadays.

With a deep breath Jean finally replied, “Can I see them?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ~ Again sorry this took so long. It's currently really early and I have had a weird sleep but I was in the mood to write so I finished up this chapter. It's a bit more of a filler as it's shorter than the last one but it's all for the good of getting to the whole point of the book so hold on c: 
> 
> The things is though I feel like I jumped around a lot in this chapter and honestly I find it slightly annoying so please let me know what you think!! (also I love feedback so plz share)
> 
> I want to have a schedule now though! So if it works out hopefully new chapters will be out every Friday. Look forward to that I guess?? (this one is a day late but ah well things happen)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Marco’s photos were incredible. He didn’t want to admit it seeing as he was the unintentional model focus in the photos, but they were seriously fucking amazing. It was no surprise he was majoring in photography because he really did have a knack for it.

He could see that Marco’s hands were shaking, holding out the camera to him from the other end of the small window table, letting Jean flick through the photos as he pleased.

“Keep them, just… Don’t show them off okay?” Jean said after a while of looking them over. He liked them but he didn’t want people to see them. Maybe that was selfish but again seeing as it was him in those photos (his two-toned hair cut made him stick out, believe it or not) he just felt a bit embarrassed. Not that he was totally insecure or anything, but what if by chance Eren saw those photos… He’d never hear the end of it.

“Sure! Yeah, but you don’t mind if I maybe include one or two in my portfolio for my photography class do you? Only my professor will see it I swear.” Marco smiled a cute sheepish smile. Jean could feel his chest tightening, sighing when he realized how hard saying no would be.

“Go ahead,” Jean shrugged “Just don’t let me catch them anywhere else, got it?”

“Got it!” And then Marco broke out into a smile, nodding his head to Jean and turning to speak as he walked towards the doors.

“See you in class, uh…” Marco turned to him in confusion, realizing he never caught a name.

“Jean. Kirschtein. See ya in class, Marco.”

And with a final smile the freckled boy was gone.

~

“Wait you what? Tell me again.” Ymir’s loud voice came out of the receiver. Jean had called her before he settled in for the night, since tonight she decided to stay with her girlfriend Krista.

“This guy, Marco, he’s a photographer and he’s in my art history class-”

Ymir cut him off, “Yeah I got that, get to the interesting part.”

He replied with a small sigh, “He was taking photos of me without my knowledge, and just came up asking if he could keep them. Said it was too good a photo op to pass up, which I don’t get but then again I don’t really do photography.”

“You were never that good at it so I’m glad,” Ymir laughed. “But you mentioned he was cute, right? Don’t tell me I misheard you.”

“Yes! Okay yes he was cute, I’ve seen him around before and I’ve always thought that but just this time I got a closer look. It’s nothing more than a compliment just- Ymir stop your squealing!”

Jean was blushing wildly at this point, embarrassed even if it was his best friend he was telling this to. He just never cared to get crushes on people and if he did he never did anything about it. Not that this was a crush, but Ymir definitely thought so and that was ultimately the source of her unnecessary excitement.

“I can’t help it! Jean I feel like there is something here, this could be a change to get your mind off of stuff. I strongly encourage you speak to him again, and if you don’t I will make you.”

“You can’t make me do anything… Besides I know what you’re trying to do. You’ve been trying to set me up with someone for years now and once again I’m not interested. Plus, if you really think some boy I just talked to for the first time today is going to get my mind off my mother you’re wrong Ymir.”

It was silent for a moment, and Jean began to worry he had hurt her feelings. Thankfully, she sighed and the sound of shuffling was heard from Ymir’s end of the call.

“Just try. You haven’t really made any new friends and if this isn’t going to become something romantic at least befriend the guy. He sounds nice, I think it’ll be good. Please, promise me.”

“I gotta go it’s late-”

“Jean.”

“Fine I promise! Happy?”

“I love you, horsey.”

Jean quickly mumbled out a ‘yeah, yeah, love you too’ before hitting the end call button and flopping back onto his bed.

Maybe he would talk to Marco again, he had no idea. The guy might be that nice to everyone, maybe he thought Jean was some pretentious asshole who didn’t want his photo taken. There was no way to actually tell which sucked, Jean would kill for the opportunity to know what people thought of him just to relieve all the unnecessary worry. Even if that might hurt him if someone thought something particularly awful but to him the truth was better than not knowing at all.

Nevertheless, he guessed he did want to speak with Marco again. It wouldn’t hurt anything and maybe they’d turn out to have a lot in common.

Ymir was right, Jean hadn’t made any new friends recently… Or in the past year for that matter. He just wasn’t interested in new friends as he wasn’t very good at making them. For someone with such a big mouth he was very introverted and struggled with long bouts of social interaction. It just wasn’t for him and when he’d get home from nights spent with friends he was always so drained and he typically needed a whole day to recharge.

Jean looked over at the time and saw that it was nearly midnight, and he should probably get some sleep if he was going to wake up in time for class the following morning.

~

Walking to class the next morning alongside his friends felt weird. It was like these friends were part of a routine he had followed all year and now that he had his sights set on a new person it all seemed boring. Not that he’d ditch his group for this random new boy who might not even genuinely like him, but Jean found himself actively searching for Marco in the campus crowd.

He didn’t quite notice he wasn’t paying practically any attention to his classmates, but Eren sure did.

“Oi horseface, what has your wandering eyes this morning?”

Jean jumped, not quite expecting Eren to address him at all, “It’s nothing… Just distracted I guess. I’m sure I’ll be fine once we get to Psychology.”

“Ymir told me about that Marco guy.”

“What?!” Jean blushed widely. Eren only smirked, proud he’d gotten the reaction he’d so clearly wanted. The bastard.

“I hear you think he’s cute, hm?” Eren teased with an elbow to Jean’s side.

This only warranted more blushing and a small shove “Piss off, I didn’t say such a thing. She’s just feeding into her weird fantasies. You know Ymir, she adores playing matchmaker and just because I talked to some random guy at Starbucks, who _just so happened_ to be nice, she thinks we’re a match made in heaven. It’s nothing.”

“Sure, whatever you say Kirschtein.” And with that his friend walked into the lecture hall with a laugh, feeling fairly pleased with himself.

Jean just rolled his eyes and walked into the room, finding his usual spot and taking a seat. Immediately he pulled out his notes and a scrap piece of sketching paper for doodling. He recently had to switch to doodling on separate pieces of paper since doodling in his notes was distracting and doodling on his assignments was “unacceptable”.

So he doodled on his scrap sketch paper while his professor talked and Jean realized he had begun doodling a familiar figure.

Long sharp nose, freckled cheeks, a huge glistening smile, and floppy hair sitting on top of the drawings head. Jean had been drawing Marco and he hadn’t even noticed. In a panic he crumpled up the sheet and shoved it into his bag rather loudly, earning him a few dirty looks. He just brushed them off and tried to tune into what the professor was saying.

He only was able to focus for a few seconds before his mind began to wonder again, and of course he was thinking about how he’d approach Marco.

What would he even say? Ymir made this out to be a match made in heaven when in reality Jean had no idea if they even had anything in common. Sure they both took Art History but where was the assurance that Marco even liked art? Maybe he thought it was lame and absolutely despised it, only ever wanting to capture the world through his fancy digital camera.

It scared him, but he also thought about maybe talking to him later that day. What would it hurt anyways, just to try? Who knows, maybe they’d become the best of friends. Jean realized he couldn’t just focus on the art aspects of Marco’s interests. They might like the same movies, video games, foods, or musicians for all he knew. All it would take was talking to him…

It was three snaps that pulled Jean out of his whirlwind of thoughts. He looked up startled to see Connie standing before him looking a little confused.

“What is up with you, you mega zone out or something?” his friend asked.

Jean blushed (he blushed way too much for it to be normal), not wanting to admit to his roommate what he’d been thinking about. Not that it was anything embarrassing but he knew that Connie could get just as bad as Ymir, and he wasn’t going to take the chance of hearing it from the both of them.

“Y-yeah I guess.. Just not feeling all that awake today I guess. It’s weird, but c'mon lets grab some coffee or something before we head our separate ways.”

Connie just nodded and the two walked to get their drinks.

Jean found himself hoping that he’d run into Marco on the way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, I AM BACK. WITH A NEW CHAPTER! 
> 
> I know it's been a while, and I am super sorry. I honestly don't think offering excuses is needed here, I'm just trying my best. Hopefully my little writer brain will get the cogs turning a bit faster next time. 
> 
> But here we are, I hope you guys like it! Feedback is much appreciated this round as I'm not sure what my thoughts are about this particular chapter, so let me know what yours are! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Sadly, Jean did not see Marco on his way to get coffee or on his way to his class. Jean knew he shouldn’t be feeling disappointed by this but for some reason he was. As much as his friends might have passed it off as some dumb ‘crush’, he really didn’t think it was that simple, or anything close to a crush at all.

Since Jean had the tendency to over-complicate his life, this whole Marco ordeal had become a huge mess. Thoughts of why he cared about this guy in the first place when they’d only had one real conversation, of how Marco had so quickly become the only person he'd been able to think about in the past 24 hours, and how maybe he was thinking so much about him because he was thinking about thinking about him.

Jean’s questions were only creating more questions and that in itself was beyond frustrating.

This brand new Marco mess on top of the ever present mommy issues just had Jean’s brain fried. He couldn't focus in class, on the way to his dorm, or even when he was _supposed_ to be getting ready to go to dinner with friends. Jean was the kind of guy who didn't say all too much most the time so he did a whole lot of thinking, and usually those thoughts absolutely consumed him.

It wasn't until a quick three raps at the door pulled Jean back into reality.

He was expecting maybe Eren or Ymir, possibly alongside their date’s for the evening. Technically tonight was supposed to be a ‘friend get together’ at Smith’s but in all honesty it was quite obvious it was a date night, Jean being the single friend they dragged along out of pity.

Jean easily could have said no to the offer but of course Ymir had to step in and answer for him, essentially locking in his inevitable fate. It wasn't that he didn't want to go out with his friends, it just didn't seem fair that he had to be riding along behind them only to be reminded how undateable and isolated he could really be.

Sighing, Jean finished pulling on his shoes and walked over to the dormitory door, yanking it open.

“You know, guys, I'm not feeling well maybe I should- ...Marco?”

The two looked at each other, Marco in the doorway seeming considerably paler from the sudden surprise, the only color in his face being a bright, hot, staining redness adorning his freckled cheeks. As much as Jean had not expected to see the one and only standing outside his dorm room, Marco hadn’t quite expected the random guy from his art history class to be the one answering the door.

“Is this not.. Ymir’s room?” Marco managed to choke out, coughing after he spoke to try and dislodge the tightness from his throat.

Jean just shook his head in response and he could see Marco’s blush get deeper, obviously thinking he had been the one to make a mistake. It didn’t take long, though, for Jean to see right through the ruse that his best friend had obviously set up.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Jean tugged on Marco’s arm and pulled him into the messy dorm room. Living with Connie had it’s perks, but obviously cleanliness was not one of them. The room was hardly ever clean, the only real surface of the room that could be seen was the one counter spot by the kitchenettes sink where they kept the cereal. Guess that’s all you could expect from two 19 year old males living together.

It only took a light push to have Marco sat on the couch before Jean spoke up about why he’d brought him into his pigsty of a room in the first place.

“Ymir set you… well really, _us_ , up. This wasn’t actually your doing.” he breathed, starting to feel slightly embarrassed by the whole situation.

It wasn't a surprise that Marco looked extremely confused. He was just an innocent bystander getting dragged into this because of Ymir’s weird fantasies. Which reminded him…

“Why would she do that?”

Marco had no clue about the conversations that took place between Ymir and Jean. Nor did Jean know how much Ymir might have spilled to Marco earlier that afternoon while trying to convince him to come along.

“Well I mean…” Jean started, feeling his face starting to heat up. How could he explain this without spilling the fact that his best friend had this weird obsession with setting them up on a date, despite the fact they had _just fucking met._

“Ymir thinks that I don't get out enough I guess. I told her about our run in at Starbucks yesterday because well it was an interesting story...I guess. She was interested anyways and like I really only ever hang around her and Eren and a few others so I guess she saw it as an opportunity to find me a new friend? Now that I think about it I probably shouldn't have told her what you look like..”

Jean was scrambling for words, desperate trying to explain away the situation so they could both move on and forget it ever happened, but before he could go on any further an angelic laugh began to fill the room.

Marco’s face was turning red again but this time from the fits of laughter emanating from his chest. He found this whole thing _funny_.

Jean found himself slightly irritated by this, obviously not seeing the amusement in the whole thing.

“W-what's so funny?!”

Marco just laughed more, wiping at his eyes where tears had started to form slightly. Once he could finally breath again Marco shook his head, letting out a few heavy giggle-laced breaths before speaking.

“ _You!”_ Marco managed to choke out before laughing again.

Jean was genuinely shocked and opened his mouth the retort back before Marco continued.

“Sorry,” he let out with a cough “That sounded really bad. What I meant is how worried you are over this is cute, really, it’s no big deal. I'd love to be friends!”

Marco finished off with a winning white smile, while Jean just looked at him eyes wide with slight confusion as to what exactly just happened in the last 5 minutes. The world must have been very intent on fucking him right up. He also felt a blush forming (once again, he blushes too much, he should probably get that checked out) over the fact that Marco had called him _cute_ . What the hell was wrong with him.  
  
“Wait, really? Even after all this mess? I don’t think it gave a great first impression…” Jean hesitated.  
  
And he wasn’t wrong. So far the only interactions the two have had the opportunity of having were at Starbucks yesterday, where Jean very much may have come off as an asshole, and right now, because Ymir is a sneaky bastard.

“Well yeah, of course! You seem really great, and looking at your choice in posters…” Marco trailed off for a moment, taking a second to glance at the wall decor once more. “I think we may already have some things in common.”  
  
Jean smiled a bit at that, this guy was way too nice. From what it looked like, Marco hadn’t even thought twice about a potential friendship. It all just came so naturally to him. Marco was the kind of person who tried to be friends with everyone, even in cases like this where things had gotten off to a slightly rocky start.  
  
“You like _Sherlock_ and _Crash Bandicoot_ ?” Jean couldn’t help but ask. He hadn’t met many people on campus who shared his interests.  
  
Marco nodded enthusiastically, pointing to the poster hanging above Jean’s bed. “Not to mention _Scott Pilgrim_ . I love _Scott Pilgrim_ .”  
  
“And _The Killers_ ?”  
  
“Saw them in concert last year for my 18th birthday.”  
  
“No way!” Jean gasped, shocked that this seemingly shy and secluded guy really had the audacity to go to huge concerts.  
  
“I really did!” Marco laughed, feeling a weird fondness explode in his chest.

The two were already getting along nicely, and ultimately decided to go to Smith’s after all. The awkwardness of it all seemed to fade away as they chatted, and some deep dish pizza did sound really good, so Jean went ahead and texted Ymir that they were on their way to the parking lot.  
  
**_From: Jean  
_****_To: Ymir  
_******_**Hey we’re on our way to the lot; you guys there????**  
_  
Not even a second later, Jean’s pocket was buzzing wildly with a response.  
  
_**From: Ymir  
**_**_To: Jean  
_******_DID IT WORK !! DID MY PLAN WORK !!_

 **_From: Jean_ ** ****  
**_To: Ymir_ ** ****  
**_...No._ **  
  
**_From: Ymir_ ** ****  
**_To: Jean_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_Marco isn’t with you??_**

 **_From: Jean_ ** ****  
**_To: Ymir_ ** ****  
**_He is. But no, we are not married like I know you wanted._ ** ****  
****  
**_From: Jean_ ** ****  
**_To: Ymir_ ** ****  
**_Dammit :(_ **  
  
Jean just shook his head at how ridiculous his best friend was being. He knew that she didn’t exactly want him to be getting married so early on in his adult life, but she did want him to get back into dating. Truthfully, he hadn’t dated anyone in over a year, for the very reason that he just was not interested in doing do. He had an art degree to focus on, friends to look after, and a whole future to sort out. But Ymir felt he’d be happier with a partner, and sadly Marco has fallen victim to her scheming.  
  
Looking over at Marco as they walked side by side, Jean got a good look at the guy. The obvious freckled cheeks, red nose from the cold, a soft jaw line and silky black hair. Marco’s features were very friendly looking, even as his face was resting and looking off ahead of him, unaware to people’s stares. It’s no wonder Jean felt so comfortable with the guy, he looked like a damn _angel_ under the dim lamplight that lit up the campus grounds.  
  
At the last second Marco turned his head, looking straight into Jean’s wide (and previously staring) eyes, opening his mouth to say something, but it was too late as Ymir was already sprinting over from the huge parking lot.  
  
“You guys made it!” She screamed, looking over at Marco with a wide smile. “Glad you could make it freckles, welcome to the team.”  
  
“Team…?” Marco looked confused, and like he was about to ask even more questions before Jean piped up.  
  
“Ahem… I think you owe the poor guy an apology, actually. You sent him to the wrong dorm- on _purpose_ .”  
  
Almost immediately Ymir could see how pissed he really was, that missing anger finally hitting Jean at full force from the moment he saw her run over.  As harmless as it may have been (in her mind anyways) Ymir started to feel the guilt creep up sneakily in the back of her mind, causing her to scratch at the back of her neck nervously.  
  
“Oh! Did I do that? So sorry Marco…” Ymir spoke sheepishly, keeping a steady gaze on the concrete sidewalk. “I spend so much time in that dorm, sometimes I get it mixed up with my own. But hey you made it here regardless, that’s what matters!”  
Marco gives a small smile in response, telling her it’s okay and he’s glad he was invited, but is yet again rudely interrupted by the other’s shouting from only a short distance away.  
  
“Come on you three, let’s get going before it get’s too busy!” Sasha yells from her seat in the bed of Connie’s Ford, swinging her legs over the edge.  
  
“Yeah I’m getting impatient! I want some damn fries already!” Connie shouts in agreement. He and Sasha really are two peas in a pod.  
  
Jean just rolls his eyes and motions for Marco to follow after him and Ymir as they make their way over to the group.  
  
Introductions were made, so poor Marco wasn’t doomed to suffer the entire night in his shy and quiet nature surrounded by complete strangers. From what Jean could tell, Marco wasn’t totally put off by his selection of friend’s and figured they would all get along fine.

Yes, even with Eren. Again with Marco being the extra friendly one and all.

Their group of 8 somehow managed to arrive at Smith’s in one piece, piling into Connie’s Ford and Mikasa's Fiat.

As they all poured out of the vehicles, getting glares from outside diners at how obnoxiously loud they were all probably being, Jean tugged on Marco’s sleeve as instruction to walk along with him.

“Hey man…” Jean starts, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry about all this, again. You're a real nice guy and I know you're probably here more out of politeness then your own volition… And yeah I know you told me you'd love to make new friends anyways, but these guys are kinda crazy and probably not what you were expecting… I just- I'm sorry.”

Marco held a smile the whole time Jean rambled, looking as kind as ever. His eyes seeming sympathetic as they entered the bustling restaurant and followed their party to be seated.

After a moment, Marco just shakes his head, laughing.

“Again, I appreciate how worried you are, but I'm fine. I'm happy being here. I don't… Have many people to go out and do stuff with. You're very lucky Jean.”

Something about that made Jean’s heart constrict. Such a funny, interesting, and kind a guy as Marco? Not having many friends? It was a shock, especially considering how quickly he seemed to get along with everyone around him. He was so polite and inviting, it's was ultimately made Jean so comfortable around him so quickly. Despite the fact they had just met… Jean felt like they'd been friends for years. It was a new feeling to him, but he wasn't going to deny he sort of liked it.

As they sat around the rounded table, conversation picking right back up again, Jean planted a firm hand on Marco’s shoulder and giving a light squeeze.

“Well Marco, after tonight, we're your friends now. You're stuck with us.”

That pulled yet another angelic smile from his blushing freckled face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a thing. Yep. 
> 
> A NOTE: I have such a hard time formatting on here and sometimes there will be mistakes.  
> I wanna say that while I'm working on new chapters I DO SEARCH FOR MISTAKES, but I don't always catch all of them. So for my sake if there is one particularly annoying please point it out to me! It helps me out a ton (': 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed, and as I said before please give feedback if you want! Tell me what you did like, tell me what you didn't like, tell me what you hope to happen, what you think will happen, what characters you like so far, ect. I love to hear from you all. 
> 
> ALSO, when I gave my best friend the preview to this chapter she told me "Ymir is me." and that made me super happy, as I love writing her character... and maybe I do take after her slightly. C'mon, we're all thinking it, she just likes to say whats on her mind. (': 
> 
> Next chapter: The dinner. DUN DUN DUN, we shall see how that goes muahaha. 
> 
> Also letting you all know I have a [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/MosherCat) (which I've started updating with writing things every once in a while), a [ Tumblr ](http://phanslovechild.tumblr.com/) & there is a [ playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1259539409/playlist/5tgtyaCMV9hOnzVaWXcriM) for the Monet Project!  
> The playlist is more for me than anyone, as it inspires me when writing, but if you guys want please feel free to listen! c: 
> 
> Till next time


	5. this is not a chapter but please send help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS SHIT GONNA GET DELETED BUT HAVE A LIL READ IF YOU WANNA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr: i haven't been happy with TMP lately which is hindering my ability to write chapter 5; would you guys mind if i edited everything lol

Alrighty kiddos, let's get down to business. 

I have been trying my absolute best to write Chapter 5 almost immediately after the release of Chapter 4. I have sat hours in front of my computer in attempt to find the words to carry the story further. Maybe this is just the beginning slump as we're still trying to get that ball rolling but DAMN I really don't think that's it. 

Nobody hates reading over my work more than me and I have read this story about a million and one times trying to figure out what it was about the plot that had me stuck. I hate keeping everyone waiting, but I wanted this to be good! So I have come to the conclusion that I am just not resonating with my story anymore. 

I wanna rewrite it. Mostly just edit it, actually. I'll keep most of the major plot points but things are gonna move around, be added, or even cut out completely. Obviously as the reader this is kinda a semi-big deal for a story you've read over already. Here is what I will say: Jean will not change as a character. He is my favorite to write and quite honestly I live in his head so damn much it'd be really shitty to change his personality, for you and me both. Ymir won't change either, she is her own entity I don't really control what she does or says if I'm honest. As for all the other characters, it's up in the air. YES this includes our beloved Marco. I WANNA DO HIM BETTER THAN THIS YAKNOW, I want to get to a point where I feel like I know him not like I'm writing based on limited knowledge of who he is. So yes LOTS OF CHARACTER BUILDING!! You guys will for sure get to know everyone and the world a lot better once I edit.   
  
 _ **But that begs the question: DO YOU WANT ME TO EDIT?? OR DO YOU MIND?? Please leave a comment down below I would so appreciate it!**_

 

I will try my best to get the editing and next chapter done soon!! School and work are always top priority but obviously I adore writing so I always find time somewhere <3 

Love y'all hope you're well, sorry i've been away for a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you if you did read this and left a comment  
> for your forever patience and kindness with me here is an exclusive preview of the next chapter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1W08CDJd2-1lnsHjJEtpb0S0B5tWoOkrZPHwOZG-x_Ms/edit?usp=sharing


	6. sorry another autors note, but hey IM STILL ALIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr  
> i'm getting close to finishing up editing!! i'm currently trying to whack out the rest of my changes (i kinda went overboard so it's taking a while) but the cogs are turning and it's in the process of being written.

_**hello friends. it's been a while.** _

I just figured it was only right to update you all as it's been FOREVER. After all the lovely comments I got on my last update I have been in the process of editing The Monet Project! While I'm done bleeding all over my poor story (I went kinda overboard, whoops) I do still need to type it up and apply those changes, as well as anything else I decide to change along the way! So I do apologize that it's taking ages. I also have school and work to focus on so those come first, but I have not given up on this story! I am working really hard on getting it to you guys! I actually have a notebook full of ideas thanks to some late night chats with my step-mother. She is a brilliant woman and really helped me figure out ways for me to progress in this world and actually TAUGHT me some things about my own characters?? Incredible.

But YEAH so I don't wanna put a date on when the finished product will be out as things can change at a moments notice (my schedule is never set in stone, it is HELL) SO I will leave you with: Soon. 

Sooner than you think, actually! So look out for that. 

Overall, thank you for everyone who is sticking around; I love you so much! Your patience is greatly appreciated.

I hope you're all doing well. See you soon!

-Madi


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